WEEKEND

Dearest Diary,

It's that time again ... weekend ...

What to do and where to do. Who cares as long as you enjoy it.

It's been almost a month that Cecil has been working with his uncle and i haven't seen him. It's so sad coz in our marriage he has been more away than we have been together. How ironic.

It's time to turn things around and make days more pleasant for us, so how do we do that, we pray, we think positive and that is the best way to make days brighter and happier.

I miss my crazy friends and will make a plan to visit her soon, it is my turn to go to her. Hoping she has a place to go to ... lol.

I wish all you super duper people out there a fantastic time.

Lots of love and blessings.

Kaz

BEING POSITIVE EVERY DAY

Dearest Diary,

Wouldn't it be so nice to have everyday a stress free day. No more hurt in the heart, body or soul. We all hurt, we all want to give up something sometime in our lives. Which ever it may be, it still would be fantastic to not have stress. We unfortunately cannot get rid of all the stress in our lives but we can certainly reduce some of it.

Sometimes it is very hard to realize that you do not belong in a relationship or career but we carry on regardless. Less try to analyze the pro's and con's on everything in our lives that gives us stress. Money, job, love, people, kids, dreams, life in general. No matter where we look and no matter what we do, its just stressful.

I have decided to try get rid of some of my stress. I have realized that if you feel good about yourself then others don't worry you so much. So basically what I am saying is that maybe with any luck I must change the way I think and act. I am not going to force myself to do something if it is too hard, I will take a breathe and try again later or tomorrow.

I need to fix ME ... I am hoping that my mind will help me.

1. Smile more often, talk with a smile, listen with a smile and forgive yourself with a smile.

This is what I will be doing for the next few days until it becomes a habit.

2. Tell someone you love, you love them. (tell them often through the day, send a kind message or pick up the phone and smile).

Lets see how this can help.

I am hoping it does :)

I am optimistic .....

EQUATIONS

Dearest Diary,

Can anyone tell me how a person would work out an equation for "soon"? Would it be seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks or frigging years? I am confused, when someone tells me soon, what does that mean? I really don't understand why that word was ever created, it is meaningless. It is a word that is used when others cannot find the courage, actually the balls to say when, because "when" is a promise and people hold everyone by it.

I can understand when the word "soon" is used out of context or if you say you will be back in the office soon, because no one can predict the traffic and and and ... but when a simple question is put in black and white, not in a round about why or not to the point, I cannot understand why word would be used.

When you coming to bed? Soon .... is it after this ad, or movie? or are you gonna sleep on the couch forever? Then don't bother coming back at all. Hurt is a lifetime pain. Just like the word "soon". Words are said and people get hurt. Actions are done and people get hurt. Do yourself a favor and face the consequences and responsibility of your words and actions, you cannot expect or assume the next person is going to be that kind to you.

Grow up and use the English language properly, don't mix sense anything. It's not fair on you or the other person. Time to learn the hard way and when you fall, stay down awhile, grieve, accept your loss (may it be a argument, fight, loss of some sort), so you can get back up even stronger than before and carry on with the burdens on your shoulders. They will not feel as heavy as before.

So chin up, shoulders back and chest out. Take a proud walk and don't stop until you have reached your destination.

Good Luck.

CONFUSION TO LIFE?

Dearest Diary,

I sit here today and ask myself is it really worth spitting out all these words onto pages that I will never read again and that the persons I have problems or issues with will never come across these pages to sort things out,  because there isn't emotions that can be called up inside you to face them or the "afraid" of the outcome of whatever their answers will be.

That is really confusing. I cannot believe I am in such a mess / state about my life. It's not where I want to be or wanted to be in this year. How do we improve our lives? We buy books, listen to other people telling us how easy it is to change it, we goggle life changes or other opportunities just so we can feel good about ourselves just for that moment in time. But that moment passes so quickly that we crave more happiness and we look for it in all ways that we know sometimes are impossible.

How do I change my situations? I have written it down, tried sorting them into priority but it still doesn't work. Why, because you cannot control other peoples emotions, feelings and actions and reactions. Stop trying to live for others and live what makes you happy. If a person makes you happy do not live for that, the feeling will pass and soon it will become disappointing again, life will become unbearable. Live for what you want to do day by day. If you want to run in the rain and remember your childhood memories, then do that. While driving home and you don't want to go home just yet, make a u-turn or go drive past your house, go do something else or go sit silently somewhere to clear your head. Do things you want to do, not what others expect you to do. If they have issues with that then tuff, it is their issues and problems not yours.

Start a Bucket List. If you don't know what to put on there, think of the smallest thing that you wanted to do when you where younger and write it down. Go do it.

My Bucket List:

1. I am going to touch a deer. (yes the animal)
2. To be continued .............

Try again tomorrow

NEW LIFE

It's been so long since I have seen this page, but they say everything comes in time and now is my time. So much has happened since the last post. Sadness, happines and lots of love. I have lost, I have learned and most of all, I have loved.

I am now married to a special guy. He means the world to me and loves me for who I am and not what I look like or what I got. He is the most wonderful man in the world, I'm sure there are a lot of people that say they have the best, but he is the best in my life, just like your best is in your life. I could never imagine my life without him. Even my children love him to bits and he them. How often do you find that situation come about.

My life is starting new challenges. We have decided to immigrate to Canada and live our new lives there, with my children. I have also inherited a new child, no not his, but my daughters boyfriend, lol. Who would have thought that my life would be so different in a matter of a year. We are all so excited to start over, there is no words to describe the feelings of happiness, true happiness.

I have also lost so much in this last year, but all was neccessary. They say you got to loose to live a new beginning and that is so true, it's happened to me.

I hope that all people in this world find the happiness I have found. Just remember nothing is perfect but it is perfect in your own way. Learn to live and love and especially learn to forgive and forget. Move on, don't linger, don't hold grudges, your life is worth more than others opinions and disappointments. Make you life priority, its worth it.

Sending you all blessings of happiness, love and peace.

Kaz Cook

MEDITATION

Dear Bloggers,

My meditation last night was good, I still feel nausea and light headed when I'm totally under. My teacher has told me that it is a high spirit guide. I've been trying to get her in my space for over a month now and the "sickness" is a little too much for now. I am trying to control it but it is more than enough now. She must come through now. I need her guidance!! But I need to be patient and do meditation every day/night.

My teacher was telling us last night about "materialisation" and told us to google it. How facinating. I am hoping to advance like that. I would love to do a materialisation by myself.

Blessings to all

NEW BUSINESS

Dear Bloggers,

I have decided to start reading again for others. I have almost finished painting my "consulting" room and it is starting to look beautiful. My little goblin is just too cute and of course my little fairies are going to be harder to finish. I am so looking forward in finishing my room. It really is so exciting for me. I never imagined in my life that I would do this for money but money is energy and energy must flow.

I will try and get a photo of my room up soon. I can't wait to show every one.

Blessings to all

A NEW DAWN

Dear Bloggers,

When we say to others, "life is fair", try and remember that everyone has their own problems and to each one of us our problem is the biggest. Just because you struggling with something doesn't mean that others are having life easier.

The reason for this paragraph is that we all need to learn and experience "life changes" to our own degree and recognize the fact that we all have troubles and of course mine isn't smaller or bigger than yours. I trust in my spirit guide to direct me in the right direction. That little funny feeling you get in the pit of your stomach is the answer that you're looking for. Don't try and ignore and go by logic, take both into consideration and see which is the best to use. Days does go faster when you having fun, but have fun everyday. Smile more often and your worries and stress will not be such a burden on your shoulders.

Live your life the way you want to, not the way you have to!!!

BLESSINGS TO ALL

A Face

Dear Bloggers,

It really as been a roller coaster ride this past year. I am at this lovely company for a year(14 June) now and I still love my job. The kids are growing, nothing is standing still. No matter how much I would like it to run faster or even stand still, it will never happen. I still speak to Tyrone from time to time, he still loves me. I can't bear to see him so unhappy. But life treats us all differently, we need to take the good with the bad. That is what I have learned the passed few years. My life isn't complicated any more, its just slow lol.

I'm hoping to get a new car soon, that is my biggest goal for now. That's what I'm working towards right now.

Any how, I'm gonna try log on tomorrow and speak about the medium I went to about a week ago, she is very good.

Blessed be

ANOTHER DAY IN ...

Dear Bloggers,

It's been awhile since I have written. Just to sum up a few things -

I wish there was an instruction book for "How to control teenage boys". Being a single mother to a teenage boy isn't easy. I hope this phase passes soon. Same goes about my teenage daughter. Headaches are worse.

ANY DAY??

Dear Bloggers,

I know I haven't kept to my side of the bargain, but life has been a little busy now with me working and all.

I got a weired email today and they asked me about Tyrone Neilon. I don't know who they are, they wouldn't say but I did give some history about him and myself. I will never deny that I still love him and I have told him that as well. He in turn has told me he would never stop loving me as well no matter what comes between use. Just to let the mysterious person know that I am not ashamed to tell you I still love him. I always will, but I don't have space in my life for him. When you do have the courage, please do let me know who you are. I trusted you with some history, trust me now with your name.

thanks for your ears,

Kaz Neilon

NEW BEGINNINGS

It's new beginnings for me and I'm loving it. I have now a job and loving it. The people here are just so great and so is my boss. He has such a down to earth personality it's really nice to find a place to work where you want to come to work and not stay home, or you are stressed and hate your job. I can say that I love doing what I do and I couldn't have asked for something better. Happy days are here again.
The kids are doing well but exams are now on top of them and with the strike they really are having a hard time getting things together. The schools are making them work over time and on a Saturday which isn't fair at all. But I guess it's better than sitting at home and doing nothing...
Now I just need a love life. I will be going to a fortune telling on the 6th September at 6 at night. I am hoping she is good at what she does and hopefully she can give me good news about my love...
I have tried so many in the past and none have the ability to read for me. All I can do is now try until I find one that can help me ... and help me sooon.
I must also say that my new friends are awesome at work and I enjoy going out drinking with them, they invited me last night and I had such fun. I know it will be done soon again.
This saturday I am having a little get together with all my friends and I know it's gonna be a lot of fun. I will be seeing some old friends I haven't seen in years and that is what I can't wait for....

Good luck to all

Chat soon

Kaz Neilon

All Better

Dear Bloggers,

I was so sick the past few days, winter is no fun at all. So nothing to report so far. Just that the bed is now sick of me. HeeHee

Here is the card I promised you,

Deck: Magical Unicorns

Card: Worth waiting for

MEANING

You know what you want and you've been waiting for it. This card means that your patients is about to pay off! You'll soon have what your heart desires. It will most likely be beter than you expect.

What you want is worth waiting for. Instead of settling for something that's "good enough," you'll now have the best. You deserve the best!

Well, I'm gonna wollow on that and see what that brings me.

Thanks for your ears

Kaz

FORGIVENESS

Deck: Magical Mermaids and Dolphins

Card: Self-Forgiveness

MEANING

"Let go of old guilt, and remember that you're God's perfect child!"

You've been very hard on yourself lately, using harsh words toward yourself verbally or mentally. While it's healthy to hold yourself up to high standards, this card says that you've bordered on self-abuse! Everyone makes mistakes, and it's normal to feel regret occasionally. What's important, though, is how you handle these mistakes.

As you focus on your positive attributes, your self-esteem will increase and your stress level will be diminished. Remember that guilt is the opposite of love. Your guilt doesn't help anyone or anything, but your Divine love helps everyone, everywhere!

Affirm: "I ask that all effects of my mistakes be undone in all directions of time, and I now release all guilt completely. I love my true self, from top to bottom."

Thanks for your ears

Kaz

Angels

Dear Bloggers,

As promised once again I got a card for you.

Deck: Ask an angel

Card: Creativity - Nathaniel

MEANING

Free will is a will that is free; free from the ego/personality programming, free from cultural pressure and free from fear.

When we take responsibility for our lives completely, both the pleasant and unpleasant, we take full ownership of our lives. This is true freedom.

Every possibility is open to you now. Release your fears and personal limitations and embrace your life. You are one with the creative essence of life, with both the creator and the creation. Choose what you want for your world right now.

Enjoy understanding that.

Thanks for your ears,

Kaz

Love your Parents

Deck: Magical Unicorns - oracle cards

Card: Love from Your Parents

MEANING

This card is telling you that your mother and father both love you, even though you may not always be able to feel their love. Everyone shows love in different ways - for example, some people show that they care through actions, such as giving you things or trying to help you. Other people express it through words that they say or write. If your mother and father show their love in ways you don't understand, you can talk to them about your feelings

The bond between parents and children can never be broken, no matter what. Even during times of anger, parents and children still love each other deep down. If you focus on this love, it grows even stronger and deeper. his love also helps everyone feels better and get along better.

If you mother and father are angry with each other, you can still love them both equally. You don't need to take sides. Everyone has something good inside them after all. God put love within every person. Your love toward both your mother and father is always deep and strong, even if you don't see one of your parents very much. Focus on what's good about your mother and father to help them - and you - be as loving as you an be.

I don't have much time today, so I will leave that though with you. Enjoy

Thanks for the ears,

Kaz

The daily Card

Dear Bloggers,

Had an energetic day. Scrubbed the kitchen for my dad. Been a long day, my bones are sore and tired. Let's get to it then.

Deck : Magical Mermaids and Dolphins

Card : Accept Heaven's Help

MEANING

You've asked, "What should I do next?" This card reponds: "Trust that your prayers have been heard and answered. Simply rest and retreat for now. After all, you prayed for Divine intervention, so step aside and let Heaven intervene, as this is the help you prayed for."

You can assist the process initiated by your prayers through quiet contemplation. Ask heaven to give you very clear, easily understandable guidance, letting you know if you need to take any action. In the meantime, enjoy knowing your angels and guides surround you and your situation with loving care.

Enjoy that one...

Thanks for the ears,

Kaz

Bake Sale

Dear Bloggers,

The day of baking, that is what I did most of the day. I baked Mielie Meal Muffins and a Bread with Savory Balls. And I still cooked supper. Hows that for a days work....

Nothing else interesting happened but as I promised I have pulled a card out and here it is.

Deck: Ask An Angel

Card: Angel Phuel - Emotions

MEANING

The key to creating harmony is balance. The balance of the mind and emotions.

If you have drawn this card it means that it is imperative that you balance this area of yourself. This means whether you are overwhelmed or disconnected you must stop and reconnect with yourself. You must demand and create the space to be quiet with your self. Often writing is the most direct way to communicate with your self. You must allow yourself to freely express exactly how you feel until you experience a clear resolution on what you must do to bring balance to your life.

This is a time for reconnecting to your inner world so that you may successfully move forward into the next phase of your life.

Well that says a lot about me today, doesn't it?

Thanks for your ear,

Kaz

Work Days

Dear Bloggers,

I'm sure you have had a day that just sucks, when it comes to work. I felt like nothing today because I have been working my ass off lately. But it's a small income, I have to bit the bullet and just take it until something else comes along.

I did a reading today, and, oh boy, was it hard ... it's was so grail. I like to tell the truth but at the same time keep it a little light but todays reading was so, I had no choice but to tell what I saw, there was no other way. That's one thing I can never get use to.....

With the days that go by ... I miss having company ... Male company ... just to sit and chat and get everything off ones chest, or just to be held and have someone listen to all your stories of love and troubles. How I miss that, but I guess it's my own fault... I will not fail to find my soul mate ... if he is out there then we will be together!!! I will not give up that easily!!!

I must try and stay with the "Zest" life gives me or I will fall...

Maybe I should pull a oracle card everyday and share that with you ... let's try that, here goes :

(I have a few sets of oracle cards and tarot cards, I will randomly choose a pack then shuffle them until one falls out, and that will be the one for the day.)

Oracle of the Dragonfae - THE GUARDIANS: Fly High

MEANING:

Making plans to move forward, packing up and letting go of the old, reducing the amount of material possessions that no longer speak to you; becoming the wanderer, the traveler for a time, a time of exile where yo may be unsure of where your home lies. Know that this is the time of the being who migrates and takes flight, and who has many lives and homes in this one span of time where you are in your present earth body which, by the way, is a sacred tool. Use it to fly above what you can see from the ground, and gain a higher viewpoint. Think of the Dragonfae, flying high above, and you will fly further than you have dreamt of. Consider the element of air more often.

Well, I will try figure that out and what it means to me, you do the same...

Thanks for the ear,

Kaz

Winter Monday Morning

Dear Bloggers,

It's a new week and Monday has started off to be cold and foggy. But lets not that bring us down, we need to keep the zest for life alive. It's difficult, that's one thing I can say. I went to Bedfordview Shopping Center yesterday with my kids, just to get them out of the house, and of course I went to a book store. Got this brilliant book called Archangels & Ascended Masters by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. I was up half the night reading it. I would advise anyone to get their hands on this book and start reading it themselves.

My daughter got flu, but she had to go to school today because she is writing exams. At least she can come home after. I hate to see my children ill. It breaks my heart....

Well it's the morning, lets see what the rest of the day has in store for me....

Thanks for your ears,

Kaz