CONFUSION TO LIFE?

Dearest Diary,

I sit here today and ask myself is it really worth spitting out all these words onto pages that I will never read again and that the persons I have problems or issues with will never come across these pages to sort things out,  because there isn't emotions that can be called up inside you to face them or the "afraid" of the outcome of whatever their answers will be.

That is really confusing. I cannot believe I am in such a mess / state about my life. It's not where I want to be or wanted to be in this year. How do we improve our lives? We buy books, listen to other people telling us how easy it is to change it, we goggle life changes or other opportunities just so we can feel good about ourselves just for that moment in time. But that moment passes so quickly that we crave more happiness and we look for it in all ways that we know sometimes are impossible.

How do I change my situations? I have written it down, tried sorting them into priority but it still doesn't work. Why, because you cannot control other peoples emotions, feelings and actions and reactions. Stop trying to live for others and live what makes you happy. If a person makes you happy do not live for that, the feeling will pass and soon it will become disappointing again, life will become unbearable. Live for what you want to do day by day. If you want to run in the rain and remember your childhood memories, then do that. While driving home and you don't want to go home just yet, make a u-turn or go drive past your house, go do something else or go sit silently somewhere to clear your head. Do things you want to do, not what others expect you to do. If they have issues with that then tuff, it is their issues and problems not yours.

Start a Bucket List. If you don't know what to put on there, think of the smallest thing that you wanted to do when you where younger and write it down. Go do it.

My Bucket List:

1. I am going to touch a deer. (yes the animal)
2. To be continued .............

Try again tomorrow